Roger Reigns Supreme

So the men's 2007 season reached its inevitable conclusion this weekend with FedEx hoisting yet another substantial trophy over his carefully tussled locks. Yet again, a "hot" challenger (this month it was that stocky Spanish firebrand, David Ferrer) stepped up to the line with the intention of de-throning the king, only to be dispatched like a commoner. So now Roger eyes '08 with $10 million more in the bank and with Sampras' record firmly in sight. Well-timed to the end of his stellar year, Roger just turned up as King Arthur in this latest Disney ad, shot by the ultimate star-maker, Annie Leibovitz. All hail!

Shanghai Surprises?

It's been a oddly anticlimactic championship week for the men over in China. None of the players—the best eight in the world according to the computer—seems to be in particularly good form. FedEx got pummeled by Fern Gonzo early in the week; Rafa still seems a little banged up; and Nova-Djok seemed like a pale shadow of his form earlier in the season, going 0-3 in round robin play. So the final four duking it out for the $1 million prize will be FedEx v. Rafa and Roddick v. Ferrer, who blitzed his group 3-0. It's an intriguing lineup. The trouble is, with the extreme time difference between the States and China, it's nearly impossible to catch any of this action live. Sometimes it's just hard to get very excited about stale matches on Tivo, you know?

Pirates of the ATP?

Aaargh! Matey, it seems the world of men's tennis has devolved into a near-lawless state of banditry worthy of murderous one-eyed pirates. Each day brings new allegations against the blood-thirsty Russian contingent of players, who seem to be intimately involved in a stop-at-nothing campaign to profit from their matches (Moscow did recently become the world's most expensive city, after all). So now we have the tale of Tommy Haas being poisoned before his match in Germany's recent Davis Cup semifinal tie against Russia. Wow. Poison? They say the stakes are never higher on court than in a Davis Cup match, but this is getting ridiculous. Perhaps Roddick, Blake and the gang need to line up some food-tasters to have on hand when they roll into Portland, OR at the end of the month for their final-round Davis cup showdown with the rascally Russians.

Maria's Beat-downivic

After a pair of nasty little losses to the ever-charming Ana Ivanovic throughout the season, Maria Sharapova had to be a little nagged by the whole thing: "Who's this little cutie kicking me out of the French semis?" Well, even though the third round of the Championships didn't technically matter (both 20-year-olds were already securely in the final stages of the tournament), Maria came out and gave Ana a serious schooling (6-1, 6-2). Assessing her chances for the rest of the tournament, Masha coolly declared, "If I play like I did today, I'll be fine." Fugly outfit aside, Racqonteur concurs. Bravo!

Spanish Bagels... Who Knew?

Madame Henin served a neat Spanish buffet of bagels (no cream cheese) in Madrid tonight to Marion "broken robot" Bartoli, who snuck into the Championship draw in the middle of the night when Serena Williams' knee gave out for the 486th time. This was El Grande Beat-Down. As Justine said after the match, "I wanted to get my revenge." Oooh, girl! This was a solid demolition. With each stinging whoosh of her racquet, the Heninista effectively ground Marion's game (and her will, for that matter) into an increasingly fine dust. Double bagels (6-0, 6-0) are a rare delicacy in the cuisine of tennis, even more so in the Championship tournament. Good for Justine.

I'm Maria! Can I Take Your Order?

Okay, it's no secret Racqonteur is down with Maria Sharapova. No reason to hide it, right? Well, despite any passionate fan preferences, in the interest of journalistic integrity, one simply has to call Miss Masha out a little bit for the frumpadelic getup she turned up wearing in Madrid. Come on, Nike. Even with all the little sporty elves you have churning out chic tennis attire for your girls throughout the year, you save this maroon and salmon number for Maria's Championship look? Many Denny's waitresses offer more allure. Double fault.

Justine's Makeover Marches On

Wow. Check out what a 20-match winning streak can do for your inner glow! Queen bee Justine "no more drama" Henin breezed into Madrid this week for what is likely to be a fairly routine sweep of the season-ending championships. Since unhitching her scowling hubby Pierre Yves Hardenne early in the year, it's been smooth sailing for the diminutive Belgian player. On top of eight titles (including a neat pair of Grand Slam trophies in Paris and New York), Justine has polished herself up, adding a generous dose of star power to her previously dour and grim personage. So cheers to Justine—it's nice to see a smile to match all that success.

Nouveau Novak

All the big boys are banging away over in Madrid this week in the year's second-to-last Master Series event, leading up to the Shanghai blow-out next month. Roger's cruising along, Rafa bit it this morning against David "South American Samurai" Nalbandian (who looks like he might have shaved down that spare tire he's been dragging around the last season or two) and Andy Murray's finally back from a lengthy hiatus, ready to resume trying to live up to the hype. The big news, though, as far as this particular tennis fan is concerned, can be seen on little Novak Djokovic's face. Novak showed up not only with this stinging double-handed backhand up the line, but also with a goatee, sending a clear message that this boy is here to be taken, well, a little more seriously. The chance for him to vindicate all those squandered set points against R-Fed in the U.S. Open final would certainly help spread the news.

The Four Musketeers

As many times as one might look at the ranking lists and read the names of the top players, it's striking to see the lineup of the world's top four female players at the moment. These are the best? Really? Okay, you can't argue with the computer, I suppose, but honestly—where's the star power? Where's the gravitas? When you think of the very tippy top of the game, isn't there supposed to be at least one living legend in the mix? On the men's side, there are two—possible three—contenders for that exalted status. Other than Ivanovic, these gals look like they could be the coaching staff of small college's athletic department. Bo-ring!

Strange Statuary

So the top eight men are marching to Shanghai, where they'll battle it out for a big pot of cash and bragging rights for the year. In a perplexing attempt to stir up excitement about this ultimate showdown of 2007, the masterminds at the ATP have poured their marketing dollars into...a bunch of statues. Huh? Yes, as each gent secures his spot in the tournament, the tour is ordering up one of these creepy ceramic likenesses, which are meant to evoke ancient Chinese warriors but strike more of a rejected Star Wars action figure note.

Serena Powers into the Final Eight

Well, the haters be damned. Miss Serena "My Way" Williams has locked up the fifth spot in the lineup for the WTA Tour's year end championships in Madrid next month, following Henin, Sveta Kuz, Jelena Janks and Ana-Banana Ivanovic. Her runner-up showing in Moscow, which is bizarrely a tier 1 tournament despite the fact that its stands are as empty as a donut's calories, was the deciding factor for 'Rena, who continues to claim that she's ready to get back the number one ranking. We'll see about that.

Chanel on the Tennis Tip

Fashion update: The spring runway shows, full of rich hippie looks, terminator boots and even a few sexy nurses at Louis Vuitton, just wrapped up in Paris, and der meister Karl Lagerfeld gave a nod to all tennis heads with a couple of court-ready outfits at the house of Chanel (complete with double-C logo racquets). Prime candidates for these in-your-face looks could include Jelena "I love fringe" Jankovic, Tatiana Golovin (who never met a pair of clashing colors she didn't j'adore) and, of course, Queen Serena. These outfits are all about putting the value of boldness over beauty, which should work out just great for 'Rena.

Venus Takes Asia by Storm

Clearly with an eye on securing a spot in the final eight, and thereby an invitation to play in the Madrid end-of-season showdown, Venus Williams is breezing around East Asia, picking up titles and exotic garb along the way. She munched on the draw at the Korea open last week, picking off Maria Kirilenko in the final. Now she's over in Tokyo, where she's blogging for the WTA, nibbling on donuts and gearing up to play a few matches. Cheers to La V for rallying at the end of the year and not just retreating into the anonymous confines of her "interior design business."

Fired Up for Davis Cup?

Newsflash, tennis heads! All over the world this weekend there's apparently something happening called Davis Cup, which is supposed to be kind of a big deal. It's got to do with nation states, like Canada, New Mexico and the Iraq–and tennis! Yeah, it's a national tennis showdown! Like the Cold War with racquets or something, right? Sounds pretty cool. But is it some kind of secret event, held behind a giant curtain? Because, it's not excatly easy to find out about this to-do, even though it's supposed to have a bunch of important history... Too bad nobody knows about this mythical competition, because it seems like it might be really fun to watch 'n' stuff. Maybe next time the big organizer people (Mr. Davis?) could let people know about it, or have it all happen in one place. Oh well!

The Race to Madrid Heats Up

With about six weeks to go before the big year-end women's championships, only three of the tournament's precious eight spots are spoken for. So far Justine, Jelena and Sveta Kuznetsova are locked into for the big Spanish showdown, which offers Grand Slam-level prize money.Who else will be on the tennis tapas menu? As it stands now, Ivanovic, Sharapova, Chakvetadze and both Williams sisters are in position. But look for Bartoli to edge her way into the mix. Along with Hantuchova and Petrova, "Tippy Toes" Bartoli is in striking distance of the sisters, particularly considering the doubtful prospect that either Venus or Serena will show up at any of the tour's remaining tournaments.

Tennis Week's Major Makeover

It's fascinating to see how IMG, that many-tentacled giant squid of a company, is retooling Tennis Week, which it bought at the end of 2006. The magazine used to be a charming, informative but ultimately very sleepy little thing. Now it looks like IMG is going to morph it into something akin to US Weekly. See, IMG's burgeoning magazine division is run by a funny lady named Brandusa Niro, who semi-famously knocked off former US Weekly editrix Bonnie Fuller when the celebrity rag put out a one-off edition all about New York Fashion Week. IMG, which owns Fashion Week, hired Niro to keep putting out the giddy little papers all about who air-kissed whom on the way into the Yigal Azruel show or whatever. Now they're hoping the same sugar-coated formula can entrance tennis insiders. Racqonteur sees too many probable pitfalls to inumerate, starting with the seismic conflict of interest found in the same company that represents the players and own the tournaments publishing a piece of "journalism" about that world. But who's counting?

Viva La Vania

Promising news today from India on the future of American women's tennis. Turns out that 18-year-old Newport Beach, CA denizen Vania King sent Marion "Crazy Toes" Bartoli out of some rinky-dink South Asian tournament, 6-1, 7-5. Love that scoreline, baby. She blows her out of the first set, but then holds on in the second even as reality sets in that she actually has the opportunity to dismiss the tournament's top seed. Let's hope this fun result hints at what's to come from this youngster.

Whoa, Momma!

As if the Sony Ericsson WTA Tour weren't already strange enough—what with its flickering cast of erratic stars and steady stream of upsets—now comes news from the dreamy island of Bali that none other than former #1 and three-time Slam winner Lindsay Davenport, who gave birth to her first child in June, took home the trophy. Dav's beat Dani Hantuchova and Jelena Janks along the way, surprising everyone (and, in a way, no one). Sure, Lindsay rocked in her day, what with her Mac Truck groundstrokes and all. But for a 31-year-old new mom to breeze back into a pro tournament and win it sure casts an oddly harsh light on the women's game right now. All credit to her, but let's wait and see if Lindsay's new lightning can strike twice.

Jake Gyllenhaal's Open Secret

Even though CBS managed to zoom in on a seemingly endless parade of spectators from planet Celebritron during the U.S. Open men's final, Michael Barkan's crack team managed to overlook none other than Jake Gyllenhaal, who peered at the action between Fed and Novak with an intense gaze. Joining J-Gyl in the stands? A member of his small rotating cast of handsome gentleman friends. Whether sitting at West Village cafes, shopping together on Melrose in L.A., or taking in a tennis match, Jake and friend always seem to be having a lovely time.

Maria's Resolve

Racqonteur always wonders how champions faced with painful losses sort things out. Here, courtesy of 3rd round U.S. Open loser Maria Sharapova's website, is one player's perspective:

"I didn't leave my mom at the age of 7 for nothing. I didn't spend 6 hours a day practicing in the Florida sun at the age of 9 for nothing. I didn't spend those extra hours on the back courts with my dad figuring out if I'm going to play right-handed or left-handed for nothing. I didn't sleep in little cots for 3 years eating oatmeal out of a packet, while playing ITF's in the middle of nowhere for nothing. And I certainly didn't sit at the kitchen table, way past dinner, perfecting Russian essays and math equations until they met my mother's standards, for nothing. All this has helped me build character and there's no greater asset than being able to stand up for yourself. No matter how many losses I will have in my career, I will always know what has brought me to this point.....and that's hard work."

How's that for a tough cookie? Can't wait to see Maria battle back on the lightning fast late season indoor carpet and hardcourts.

Fed's Fashion Week Celebration

So you hold off a feisty young gun in the U.S. Open final, nabbing your 12th Grand Slam title and a $2.4 million paycheck in the process. How do you celebrate? Well, if you're Roger Federer, you hop in a town car with Anna Wintour and hightail it to a fashion show! That's right, FedEx's victory lap led him right to the front row of Oscar de la Renta's spring show in New York Monday afternoon, less than 24 hours after he closed the door on Novak Djokovic. Sheesh, that Rog sure does love him some fashion!

Tennis Chic on the Catwalks

A quick dispatch from the spring fashion shows in New York. At Michael Kors on Sunday afternoon, right around the time Novak Djokovic was letting his first set point evaporate into thin air, this bold nod to looking chic on the court appeared on the runway. The girl's visor is a little outre, but the overall message is fun. Could this pointed opener have been designed to appease Vogue editor Anna Wintour, who undoubtedly would have preferred to be sitting in Federer's box out in Flushing Meadows rather than on a bench in the fashion show tents?

Sharap-okovic?

Inquiring Racqonteurs want to know: just what was Maria Sharapova doing in the back of Novak Djokovic's box during the men's final today? Surely, last year's women's champion could have a seat anywhere in the stadium she wanted. The fact that she elected to throw her support behind the Serb sensation certainly raises the tantalizing proposition of possible romance between two of the tennis world's biggest stars. One has to wonder if Maria helped console Nole, as his near and dear call him, after he let the final slip through his fingers. Stay tuned!

Hurricane Watch

Today the weather prognosticators started buzzing about the possibility of a hurricane visiting New York this weekend. Now, this is only a theory so far and most likely nothing will ever come of it. Let's just all hope that—on top of all of the more serious reasons—the big blow passes Gotham by and leaves the precious final rounds of the Open undisturbed. Fingers crossed!

Showtime for Novak

So maybe Novak Djokovic's quarterfinal against Carlos "Guns" Moya lacked the electric energy or drama of Roger and Andy's uber-hyped showdown the night before. Still, it was nice to see the young Serb send the old Mallorcan packing even when he wasn't playing at his highest level. And downright delightful to see was Novak's post-match show in which he performed two of his increasingly famous impressions of fellow top players on command: first a dead-on rendering of Sharapova's pre-serve prance and bounce, then a send-up of Rafael Nadal's baseline jig, underwear adjustment and all. With the silliness out of the way, it's time for Novak to dig in for two more serious matches on his way to Serbian Grand Slam First One!

Serena Comes Undone

What a nightmare for Serena Williams. Until last night, 2007 had been the year of Serena as superhero, capable of leaping into any draw and demolishing her opponents no matter how little she prepared. Last night, she just looked like a plain Jane being dusted by a legitimately superior athlete. After being shot out of the sky by Justine's rocket groundstrokes, Serena dragged herself into the press room for an excruciating post-match conference. The reporters kept asking, in so many words, "Why do you suck all of the sudden?" and "Do you hate yourself?" and Serena shot back all manner of dark and sarcastic retorts until finally admitting that she only walked in the room to avoid being fined. Where she goes from here, perhaps only the shadow knows!

Commentator Critique: Tracy Austin

Let's just say we're lucky that Miss Tracy Austin only turns up at the majors. It's almost as if Austin's secret mission is to grind whatever meager TV ratings tennis still gets down into a fine dust. There is such a deeply rooted absence of excitement or even interest in her voice, you'd think she was describing insurance premium loopholes. Where's the joy, honey? It's a game...a glorious game! Get into it! Even worse, Austina frequently veers from disinterest into downright nastiness. To her credit, her technical grip on the sport is top notch, but that should be a given. Also, she doesn't play favorites. But as far as imparting drama and grandeur into the exquisite dialogue of a tennis match, she could be outdone by a rudimentary robot. Grade: C-

Lefty Madness!

Ladies and gentleman, get ready for a fascinating showdown this weekend between two of the men's tour's most intriguing southpaws. In one corner: Donald Young, the flashy 18-year-old American who is finally revealing what he can do out there after three years of unsubstantiated hype and who scored a major bonus when Richie "tummy ache" Gasquet pulled out of their scheduled 2nd round match. In the other corner: Feliciano Lopez, widely thought to be the handsomest player in the locker room and close confidant of Rafael Nadal. Both are sure to bring their most stinging topspin shots and wildly curving serves. The good news for Young? Lopez pretty much doesn't have a backhand. The upside for Lopez? Young has only won two ATP matches in his career. Let the best lefty win!

Blake's Brilliant Breakthrough

He may be viewed as something of an underachiever on the tennis court (so much talent, so few memorable results), but James Blake may have turned a massive corner last night in the 2nd round of the Open. Not only did he fend off the ultimate slice 'n' dice whirling dervish, Fabrice Santoro, who can drive players to the brink of insanity with his wispy shots, but he did it by besting his opponent in a decisive fifth set for the first time in his career. Blake was previously 0-9 in five set matches. Never won one, and everyone in the locker room knew he couldn't go the distance. Having ditched that monkey from his back, Blake may have finally unlocked the last mental shackle preventing him from soaring to the finish line of a major. Stay tuned!

Roger Steps Out in Black

Of course everyone knew Roger Federer would dismiss Paul Capdeville like a tardy pupil in their second round match this evening. But what would Federer wear? FedEx is giving some of the most stylish female players a run for their money with his rapidly expanding arsenal of fashion statements, and tonight's "black tie" attire—complete with tuxedo striped shorts—is sure to send him over the top. Naturally, Roger's close friend, Anna Wintour, was perched in his player's box, emitting invisible waves of approval with each and every nod of her head. Apres, the pair (plus that Mirka person) probably zipped over to Oscar de la Renta's penthouse for a midnight snack.

Breaking: Justine Actually Has Fans!

As this 100% original, undoctored photo proves, it seems that there are actually a few living, breathing individuals interested in collecting Justine Henin's autograph. With amazing bravery, these eager—or maybe just confused and misguided—fans risked contracting one of the Belgian's famous facial sores, or worse, having their souls erased by her wicked scowl! Racqonteur suspects this warm and fuzzy moment may have been orchestrated by one of Justine's agents as part of her ongoing "kinder, friendlier" makeover.

Ones to Watch

While the U.S. Open is still lumbering through the slew of lopsided routs typically seen in the 1st and 2nd rounds (poor Roberta Vinci only scraped one game off the court against Maria Sharapova, for example), Wednesday offers two intriguing matchups that might offer some legitimate excitement. First up on Ashe, Ana Ivana-more-ovic takes on the hard hitting French youngster Aravane Rezai, who shook things up in the Open's early rounds last year. Ana will still win, but she'll have to work that forehand hard. Later, Canadian superhero Frank Dancevic takes on that 6' 4" firecracker Marat Safin. This one's a coin toss. Equally uncertain? Whether or not USA Network will actually air these pairings instead of the expected top-seed blowouts.

Serena Offers Hope

After her understandably messy win over German soon-to-be-somebody Angelique Kerber, Serena Williams went through her usual post-match routine: praising her outfit (despite having had to tear the bow off at the end of the 2nd set), disparaging her performance, and denying her opponent even one tiny crumb of credit for making her work hard. We've heard it all before. The fresh news—and a ray of hope for anybody out there flailing around on a court—came at the end, when 'Rena revealed that she was once an incompetent player. "I was terrible. I couldn't hit hard. I hit lobs and slice. I'm amazed that I've come this far. I was terrible. Only thing I could do was run fast. I had like a terrible serve. Oh, my God. I had the worst forehand. When I look back at old films my dad had, I'm like, I would have quit on her. It pays not to give up because somewhere along the line I changed." It's so encouraging to hear that Serena didn't come out of the womb firing off those slice serves down the line or cracking cross-court backhand winners.

On a Rolle!

Hooray for the mysteriously named Asha Rolle. Racqonteur previously assumed this minor personage on the tour was some kind of taciturn, stocky and hot-headed Austrian mädchen prone to errant volleys and first-round losses. Turns out she's a slightly stocky serve and volleying African American 22-year-old from Miami. Mitteleuropean or not, it was delightful to learn that this minor-league trooper (having never won a match at a grand slam) pulled through against Tatiana Golovin in the first round of the Open on Monday night, logging 21 of 26 points at the net for a 6-2 in the third victory. Cheers! Let's hope Rolle celebrated with a delicious schnitzel, or rather, some kind of Miamian culinary specialty, whatever that is!

Roger's Puttin' on the Ritz

Delving ever further into the love-fest between Roger Federer and Vogue editrix Anna Wintour, Racqonteur was delighted to see that the mighty bobbed-one threw a proper New York socialite soiree for his Rogerness on the eve of the Open. Vogue the magazine and Federer the icon share a certain kind of inevitability; the assumed success and complete ownership of their respective fields that elite-types eat up like so many slices of foie gras terrine on toast points. Stepping out to air-kiss the dominator in their late-summer finest? No lesser silver spooners than Marina Rust, Lauren duPont, Amanda Cutter Brooks and Aerin Lauder. Roger really seems in his element among these swell swans. Can't wait to see who takes a town car out to sit in his box!

Here Comes the Rain Again

It's like clockwork. The U.S. Open Series reaches it's grand finale, and meteorological heck breaks loose all over the Northeast. The Pilot Pen tournament in New Haven was washed out today by consistent rain, providing what Racqonteur knows is but a preview of the waterlogged hours to come during the U.S. Open fortnight. A quick glance at the 10 day forecast for Flushing Meadows has more than a few instances of "scattered thunderstorms" and "showers." Ugh. Memo to the USTA: Time to get really high-tech and build one of them newfangled things that keep the wet out. What's that called again? Oh, yeah, a roof!

In the Future, There Will Be Tennis

From Japan today comes the intriguing and unsettling proposal for something called the X-Seed 4000, a wacky 13,000-ft-high mega-building that will house 1 million happy automatons. Inspired by Mount Fuji and meant to be constructed in Tokyo Harbor, this soul-crushing behemoth will, it seems, have one saving grace: Tucked in the middle of the complex's futurama garden is an old-fashioned tennis court. So when Kenji from block A42-9 on the seventh ring wants to practice his serve, he just has to grab his racquet and take the people mover down a few hundred floors!

Maria Marooned by Russian Tabloid

Despite her worldwide fame, Maria Sharapova has managed to avoid too much attention from the renegade tabloid media (other than last summer's consistent drumbeat that she and Andy Roddick were somehow conducting a secret love affair). Most of the time, the media seems content to let Maria go about her business. Today, however, came certain unsavory reports picked up by US Weekly from a Russian "newspaper" called The Exile, which claimed that Maroon 5 cheeseball Adam Levine complained about Maria's prowess in bed. For the record, Motorola did hire the band to play at Maria's 18th birthday party in New York's meatpacking district two years ago. Fine. But did Maria get it on with this guy? Maybe. Ultimately, who cares? Levine's rep denied the reports.

Au Revoir, Amelie

So sad to hear that Amelie Mauresmo has withdrawn from the U.S. Open, citing a groin injury, essentially signing off for the year. Rooting for this sometimes dazzling, sometimes disappointing French goddess has always been bittersweet. With one of the most naturally athletic but woefully brittle physiques on the tour, Amelie is always just one tweaked tendon away from the sidelines. Staring her thirties in the eyes, it's difficult to imagine Mauresmo ever reaching the highest echelons again.

Tennis' Most Glamorous Pair

Racqonteur sees so many silly instances of tennis players in advertising. Federer bantering with Tiger Woods in a Gillette ad? Snooze. Amelie wearing an Arabic robe declaring, "I love Dubai!" Ha ha. The new Louis Vuitton campaign with Andre Agassi and Stefi Graf is something altogether different. Glamorous and understated at the same time, who wouldn't want to live the way these two legends do? Fantastic luggage, not a care in the world, and 30 Grand Slam singles titles between them. Mon dieu!

Has Young Donald's Moment Arrived?

So what if he's yet to win an ATP Tour-level match in 11 tries? The kid only just turned 18. A lot has been said about Donald Young and his perhaps ill-advised decision to turn pro at 14. This year Young, a crafty left-hander with prodigious touch and extraordinary speed around the court, has pulled back onto the Challenger circuit, where he's found a lot more success and hopefully gathered some confidence. Now that he's been bestowed with a golden ticket, er, wild card to play in the U.S. Open, it seems like the stars may have finally aligned for Young to be able to show the tennis world what he can do.

UPDATE: On Sunday, August 19, Young won his first ATP match in the first round of the Pilot Pen, beating Amer Delic in three tight sets.

Chipper Maria Bounces Back

While the legions of Sharapova haters (you know who you are!) may have twittered with glee at last weekend's news that the defending U.S. Open had to bag her semifinal in L.A. against Nadia Petrova due to a painful shin injury, it looks like the schadenfreude party is already over. In her ever-amusing "doodle" posting, the hard-hitting star reveals that her leg felt completely normal after two days of rest and that she's already back out on the practice courts. Racqonteur was happy to hear about her recovery, as well as the arrival of her pre-season orders from Peter Som and Thakoon, which are certain to cause a stir when Maria hits the scene in Manhattan next week.

Valeria Kashina: Hopeful or Hoax?

Clicking around on those zany intertubes today, Racqonteur caught a glimpse of the teeniest little text ad blinking in the corner, encouraging eager investors to "sponsor next Russian tennis star!" Low and behold, the link led to a perplexing greeting card of sorts from one young Valeria Kashina, posing with a mess of gold medals around her neck and generic trophies in each hand. Her clunky site, which cheerily claims that Valeria will become the next breakthrough Russian player, offers little in the way of evidence to support its lofty claims. Seemingly made on a Commodore 64 in a hut in the Ural mountains, Valeria's site lacks even one nod to the larger tennis world, leaving this visitor to wonder if it might be some kind of East Bloc sports scam. It's hard to imagine who would be foolish enough to send "sponsorship" money to this individual of suspect reality, but then again, everybody loves a phenom!

Serbians Sent Packing

Uh oh! Just days after dashing into the headlines with his 'n' hers titles in Montreal and L.A., Super-Novak Djokovic and Ana Ivana-more-ovic both crashed out in their first matches of this week's tuner tournaments in Cincinnati and Toronto. Too much making party Belgrade style? Well, give the kids a break. They earned a week off after dusting the fields last week. Now they can fill the tanks for when they really need to bring it: the U.S. Open.

Poor Rafa!

The Mallorcan maestro, Rafael Nadal, has succumbed to the relentless physical pressures of playing at the very highest level of the game. For now. Even as his knee, which took a beating in his epic Wimbledon final against R-Fed, began to mend, he called it quits today with a wrist injury on the court at the Cincinnati Masters tournament, down a set and 1-4 to Juan Monaco. Racqonteur hopes Rafael will heal in time to seriously compete in Flushing Meadows, which starts main draw matches in just 12 days!

Tennis' Most Glamorous Fan?

The ever-intriguing world of tennis may get short shrift from most sports pages and the media at large, but the game has one dedicated—and seriously chic—supporter in Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. In the September editions of her women's and men's magazines, tennis makes more than a few appearances. In "Talking Fashion," the chic people of the moment are Venus Williams, Maria Sharapova and...Roger Federer. Then in "People are Talking About," the Serbian marvels Novak Djokovic and Ana Ivanovic (looking their very best) each get a page. In Men's Vogue, Ana scores another page. This comes after last spring's Federer cover, as well as previous feature articles about him as well as James Blake. Racqonteur has spotted Wintour's silver Town Car idling outside Manhattan's Midtown Tennis Club on numerous occasions, and it's fabulous to see that she's channeling her personal passion into some much-needed publicity for the sport.

Court Envy: Gold Coast Grandeur

Racqonteur is always on the prowl for luscious slices of land covered in clay, grass or concrete and topped of with a three foot high net. Tennis maniacs of means will surely appreciate this substantial cottage on the north shore of New York's Long Island, particularly for the fact that it includes this woodsy private court nestled right up against the sound. Imagine a zen-like hour of hitting practice serves out of a hopper on a warm early fall afternoon with the sound of the water splashing in the background. You can do exactly that for a smidge under $15 million. Place your order here. Operators are standing by.